I don't have much time to practice, falling off my axis. I'm hanging on, realize that if I don't carry on will fatalize my chances of success. Consequences of giving up are brutal at the realizations that to continue means to start over, feeling as if you're trying to become sober. The addiction to fear is hard to break until you realize that quitting is your only mistake.
“Realize the future of your decisions before hand.”
You messed up again. Decision taking you backwards and the water is at your knees making it hard to move forward. You reach and reach but your feet are in concrete of doubt. No one will hear you, no need to shout. But if you just did without, you'd be around this obstacle but your judgement clouded your mind, blinding your vision. Relax, find the road, even if you got to back track.
“You can't get move forward in life until you realize you're going the wrong way.”
To sit and enjoy myself, deploy my mind and body to relax. My children corralled for me so I'm able to concentrate on what I want to do. My mind won't wonder for I'm entertained with football, that my mind has ordained. I'm thankful my wife gives me this time to worship such a materialistic activity. I must repay her, show her my sensitivity towards our balance that makes us so close. That's what good relationships are about. Making sure each other gets what they deserve.
“Balance is made, not given.”
I'm wounded. Suspended by my unwanted emotions. My heredity chemical imbalance that will probably affect my children either through me or themselves. I must teach them to not put their emotions on a shelf. They will fall, being driven them into the ground.They must deal with their emotions and the pain felt as it shows Its face. It's hard to teach but harder to reach if ignorance is in play. Diligence is the key to me teaching them how to control their emotions that will be in disarray one day.
"You have to start when your kids are young."
It was special time with A.J. and me. We watched T.V. until we almost fell asleep. Can't tell ya how much I love my children being happy merely from spending time with me. Surely they'll remember, but if they don't, I will. I'll remember the cuddling, watching their favorite shows, and their excitement when it's their turn. Suspending my wants to meet their need for me takes away my need for happiness. For when it's special time, there's no reason for sadness.
“Happiness is the only thing you should want when spending time with your children.”
It stormed a lot yesterday and today looks the same so book me for a lazy day, furthermore, almost the end of the week. That is my thought process when it comes to work. One week at a time, enjoy my time off, happiness is all I seek, it's just work, so why lose sleep. My family is what I worry about. How to continue to build our lives together and how to yield my wants for their needs. It's not easy, let me tell ya but it's a fail even if you don't try. You're gonna have to sacrifice something but only one will be there when you're crumbling to the ground.
“In the end, family is all you have.”
My daughter running relentlessly around. I want to calm my mind down and interact but my thoughts are under attack, or are they already contained? I don't know. I'm trying to focus but my will is not supplying. I wish they would comply so maybe I could rely on my self-control like I should be able to but… It's the trying that makes me stronger. It's having the mental initiative to change my mind from auto pilot to flying myself. That will build my supply so I can rely on myself like I should be able to. Like I want to, like I'm supposed to do.
“You have to want to change yourself.”
I'm tired, playing with my kids, laying everything out just to keep up. Eating grilled burgers, ketchup on my shirt, catch my daughter. Time for cake. My blood sugar was at stake but when it comes to sugar, I'm not frugal. My kids were great. Obeyed well, our consistent parenting, again, paid good. Makes me feel accomplished, not to mention the gratification received. I didn't believe in my wife's will of parenting but I followed, swallowed my pride and became a better, more caring father, altering myself to be a better example. It was because I was willing to try.
“There's nothing wrong with trying something new.”
It stormed a lot yesterday and today looks the same so book me for a lazy day, furthermore, almost the end of the week. That is my thought process when it comes to work. One week at a time, enjoy my time off, happiness is all I seek, it's just work, so why lose sleep. My family is what I worry about. How to continue to build our lives together and how to yield my wants for their needs. It's not easy, let me tell ya but it's a fail even if you don't try. You're gonna have sacrifice something but only one will be there when you're crumbling to the ground.
“In the end, family is all you have.”
I'm surrounded by kindness but I can't see through the blindness of the worlds relentless shadiness. No forgiveness, just a swirl of pretentious life circumstances that I can't always control. But at least I'm surrounded by kindness. It brings me a sense of worthiness. A sense of my world isn't as bad as I think it is through my blindness… cause I'm surrounded by kindness.
“Kindness creates residual happiness.”